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I know it's early but I think Manchester United's two* losses so far this season is evidence that what I have been saying about them for the past three seasons is in fact true; The table HAS lied. I fucking knew it!!

A team comprising Park Ji-Sung, Michael Carrick, John O'Shea, Patrice Evra, Darren Fletcher and many many more equally worthless spud faced chancers cannot possibly be the best team in Manchester much less the country and certainly not Europe. Oh how they mocked me, but who's mocking who now?

It is clear Ferguson's Faustian pact with Beelzebub has been the only thing standing between them and a place in the Coca-Cola Championship and midweek games against Plymouth in front of crowds of 5,000.

If Ferguson had not sold his blackened soul to the devil himself there would have been no titles these past few years, no Champions League, no glory. Now the deal is done and it's time to pay the piper. What is so deliciously poetic about Satan's brand of justice is his taking the form of Michael Owen to deliver Ferguson's fate.

Owen has already stolen David Beckham and Robbie Fowler's youth, England's pride and many a chairman's millions and the inescapable agent of so many downfalls has finally sought the path of the damned for Ferguson too. The Prince of Darkness in his most unassuming form, but the original red devil.

So young, so innocent, so deadly