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Now then, I've never been a fan of the season long wagers, but something caught my eye this afternoon and I must discuss it with you. It concerns the Top scorer market for the Premiership - specifically the prices for Eduardo da Silva and Andrey Arshavin priced at 27.0 (Betfair) and 28/1 (skybet) respectively.

I hereby declare these prices as juicy. Comparatively, Fernando Torres is 5.3 and favourite and Didier Drogba is 12.5. I am discounting the prospects of several others so my boys need only outscore two other strikers.

I am ignoring Nicolas Anelka as he remains a self-absorbed rat faced nancy boy who is just as likely to start crying as score a goal. I'm also dismissing Michael Owen and Wayne Rooney. Owen is a sprout faced munchkin who is so plagued by injuries he'll be lucky to see out more than 15 games. Wayne Rooney will simply be given too much to do and won't be able to focus on scoring goals.

I'm also discounting Emmanuel Adebayor as his goal scoring chances cannot surely be as abundant in a team of indiviuals at Citeh as they were at Arsenal. He is also a fraud and will soon have to accept how average he is and what a mistake he has made. As a rule of thumb, players leaving Arsenal for pastures new are rarely able to reproduce the form that got them thinking they were now too good for Arsenal. They over-estimate their own worth, and under-estimate the worth of the team they were a part of. It is written.

So anyway, given that Cristano Ronaldo is now no longer a part of the equation, by my way of thinking Eduardo and Arshavin - who couldn't be any more predatroy if they were lions hidden in the long grass of the Serengeti stalking lame Wilderbeast - have only to out score Torres and Didier Drogba. This makes a mockery, a mockery of the 26/1 and 28/1.

Why might Torres fail? Simples - Rafael Benetiz. He's Spanish and old and would have lived through the latter part of Franco's rule. Therefore like most Spaniards of his generation he has an accute sensitively when it comes to being told what to do.

This in my opinion is why he has ignored the entire football community's advice when it comes to playing players out of position and rotating his squad unnessesarily. Torres and Gerrard must enter the Liverpool changing room each Saturday with their fingers crossed that there isn't a pair of goalkeeping gloves laid out on top of their kit.

I feel 28/1 that Torres plays at left-back in a Premier League game is a more realistic price than Andrey Arshavin's price to win the golden boot.

This leaves only Didier Drogbam who is of course crazy. Just the slightest difference of opinion between him and his manager will see him spiral into a period of lunacy which could last up to three months.

Three months of spending his time in a dark room wearing clogs and writing poetry when he should be scoring goals. He is simply not emotionally stable enough anymore to win this award and with all this in mind I hereby declare the value wagers in this market are Arsenal's diminutive snipers - Eduardo da Silva and Andrey "I am Gooner" Arshavin.

Spasiba.

Labels: Betting, Football