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I've just received word that the scrummy Georgie Thompson is currently dating Dec of Ant and Dec fame! How is this possible? I estimate young Georgie could have taken her pick from approximately 1.9 billion men yet she's chosen to be with the 13 year old left side of the most irritating conjoined twins in all of human history? I shall never watch Sky Sports News again.

Absolutely mystifying this one. Ant and Dec, like people who go and watch Darts, make it very difficult to argue against the teaching of Creationism in schools because how can one reasonably argue that they are the product of a billion year process of perfection? They're a couple of irritating little gobshites as well. I find this quite depressing and I feel quite queasy now. This has been such a piss poor day all things considered.