Voy Por Ustedes

This oil tanker that's been had away by pirates, have we heard what their demands are yet? I assume any ransom will involve a substantial quantity of rum and as many wenches as their sleeping quarters can accommodate? The oil in that ship is worth $100m so I think I'd ask for $40m plus 100 barrels of Rice Pudding with a couple of hundred jars of strawberry jam. I love rice pudding at the moment. I loves it.

I have very little sympathy for oil companies losing their shipments to pirates, but I find it intriguing that NATO and the US Navy seem to be unconcerned also. They're of the opinion that it's up to the oil companies to protect their own ships, which is quite right, but but but...every time one of these ships goes missing the oil dudes will surely use it as an excuse to bump up the price of oil no? They use any excuse to raise the prices. Petrol went up 1p over night once because it snowed in Saudi Arabia.

One would think it in everyone's interest to give these pirates what for, so a military intervention would appear to me to be the way to go. Is it possible the only reason that NATO in particular has not intervened is because they're fucking useless and have nothing to intervene with? Miliband was making noises about attacking Russia a few weeks ago during that limited skirmish in Georgia but it would seem in reality we don't have the military clout to put a few pirates in their place.

We need International Rescue. The Thunderbirds would have this sorted in one episode easy. The plan is simple; Thunderbird Two puts the whole ship to sleep with some sort of sleeping gas, then Thunderbird One winches all the hostages to safety, then Thunderbird 4 armed with torpedoes sinks the big fucker while the pirates are still asleep and then they all watch from the sky as they drown in their slumber.

I love Thunderbirds. I love how politically incorrect it is. All the Tracy brothers smoke. The only time I've ever seen a black puppet in an episode it was a thief robbing a museam and although you never actually see anything, the sexual tension between Lady Penelope and cockney Chauffer Parker is undeniable. Those two characters were the inspiration for the Jackie Collins novel the Bitch. Not that I've read Jackie Collins, some one just told me is all.