While the poker elite (and Alan Lake) maybe focused on the World Series of Poker in Vegas this month for the small matter of catrillions of dollars, the best fortnightly game no one ever heard of took place at the Three Pigeons tonight and once again it was an awesome display of power poker, audacity, guile and blind luck by yours truly, that saw me take down the first prize for the second, yes the second, game running and in the process stretch my lead at the top of the table to an almost insurmountable tally of sixty something or other points.
The rootin tootin shootin strategy in the early rounds had my opponents on the ropes and a series of outrageous and death defying bluffs saw my chip stack grow into an intimidating phalic tower of masculine potency. The chips flew, passers by gasped, women fainted and the parrot made noises like a telephone as pot after pot was taken down and players fell like dominoes. Consequently I became slightly aroused sexually and lost my way a little in the middle rounds, not helped by continually being dealt 7-3 off suit.
But once my semi had subsided and focus returned, it was business as usual and once again my opponents were tied up in an almost Gordian knot of unfathomable bets, bluffs and buffoonary (ran out of B words there). The most audacious play coming at heads-up stage as PC Neil was sucked into a trap of almost supernatural cunning.
Dealt wired fours and sensing a monster hand under my opponents quaking hands, instinct took over. I was a huge dog, I knew this, but by now I was playing in a state tantamount to Matrix level subconscious understanding, and I pushed in my stack. PC Constable Officer Neil called instantly. His chips reaching the centre of the table on the C of Call. Without fully appreciating the subconscious level I was playing at he loved his chances as he confidently turned over his pair of Kings..
The flop was of little consequence, fourth street no help to me and at this point I may have been a 20/1 shot to win, but odds don't amount to a hill 'o beans when you have instinct, and inevitably, as my instincts had shown me, the four appeared on fifth street like a guardian angel and I saw that it was good.
Chief Constable Neil was sent reeling back in defeat, a couple more women fainted and we thought the parrot was making more telephone noises, but it was actually the telephone. The final hand came soon after along with a short session of autograph signing and then it was back home for a slice of pie.
A wise man once said, "It's better to have loved and to have lost than to have never loved at all," But that dude never had pocket kings in the hole busted by the Sheriffs' fours.
Dealt wired fours and sensing a monster hand under my opponents quaking hands, instinct took over. I was a huge dog, I knew this, but by now I was playing in a state tantamount to Matrix level subconscious understanding, and I pushed in my stack. PC Constable Officer Neil called instantly. His chips reaching the centre of the table on the C of Call. Without fully appreciating the subconscious level I was playing at he loved his chances as he confidently turned over his pair of Kings..
The flop was of little consequence, fourth street no help to me and at this point I may have been a 20/1 shot to win, but odds don't amount to a hill 'o beans when you have instinct, and inevitably, as my instincts had shown me, the four appeared on fifth street like a guardian angel and I saw that it was good.
Chief Constable Neil was sent reeling back in defeat, a couple more women fainted and we thought the parrot was making more telephone noises, but it was actually the telephone. The final hand came soon after along with a short session of autograph signing and then it was back home for a slice of pie.
A wise man once said, "It's better to have loved and to have lost than to have never loved at all," But that dude never had pocket kings in the hole busted by the Sheriffs' fours.
2 comments:
Thats the kind of killer blow river card commonly dealt by online card rooms. At least you could sleep easy knowing you got your chips in first. Sick nonetheless :)
I would have slept easy had I called and won with 7-2 in all fairness.
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