Where does one begin to unravel the mysteries of a man such as the Hoff? A secret, in a puzzle, inside a riddle, wrapped in an enigma. It’s often decreed that the youth of today have no role models; no shining light to deliver them from a life of crime or careers in call centres. But there stands one figure, a once shadowy figure, who as Michael Knight in Knight Rider did not exist, but in our reality most definitely does exist, yet our own snooty snobbish conceit will not allow us to recognise his worth.
I am of course referring to David Hasselhoff. I’m in doubt the Hoff will be the first to admit he may possibly have taken himself just a little too seriously in his Knight Rider days and the initial Bay Watch series’. While he may feel slightly embarrassed, he has no need to. His creations were genius. Genius I tell you.
Burdened with the absurd physique of a hairy monger and a ridiculous moniker to match, his destiny was seemingly paved with shit. How to overcome such apparently insurmountable obstacles and enjoy a life of money, wine (lot’s of wine as it turned out), women and song? The answer; chuck reality in the bin and build your own existence. Like Micheal Knight in fact, oh, this is getting all metaphysical now.
The Hoff decided if by a cruel twist of fate he were to live his life as an outcast, he would create his own world. A world in which he would be a hero, a crusader, a fanny magnet and an inspiration to Bavarian loonies. In Michael Knight and Mitch Buchanan, the Hoff had a vehicle to play out any fantasy of his choosing. The most beautiful women in the world would become moist just being near him, he would drive the fastest cars and wear the coolest leather jackets and become a cabillionaire in the process. In America there is no distinguishing between reality and TV drama. They are one and the same. Eventually his fictional world would morph into reality and he would be reborn: the journey from follower to the followed complete. He is in many ways, Jesus.
Now that his fortune is made and his fantasies played out, he is able to relax and make fun of himself and mock his previous insecurities, and why not? With $10,000,000,000 in that bank, I’d laugh too. He’s a beautiful man, sincere, genuine and hairy. Still a nerd, but instead of being mocked he is revered. We should be so lucky. The Hoff has shown the worlds dorks that you don’t need to be cool to take advantage of all the great things the world has to offer. The Hoff was born a nerd, but he didn’t try to be cool, he just made being a nerd cool and if that’s not genius I don’t know what is. People still say poor Hoff, I say poor us. Who would you rather be, the Hoff or Steven Hawkins?
I rest my case.
I am of course referring to David Hasselhoff. I’m in doubt the Hoff will be the first to admit he may possibly have taken himself just a little too seriously in his Knight Rider days and the initial Bay Watch series’. While he may feel slightly embarrassed, he has no need to. His creations were genius. Genius I tell you.
Burdened with the absurd physique of a hairy monger and a ridiculous moniker to match, his destiny was seemingly paved with shit. How to overcome such apparently insurmountable obstacles and enjoy a life of money, wine (lot’s of wine as it turned out), women and song? The answer; chuck reality in the bin and build your own existence. Like Micheal Knight in fact, oh, this is getting all metaphysical now.
The Hoff decided if by a cruel twist of fate he were to live his life as an outcast, he would create his own world. A world in which he would be a hero, a crusader, a fanny magnet and an inspiration to Bavarian loonies. In Michael Knight and Mitch Buchanan, the Hoff had a vehicle to play out any fantasy of his choosing. The most beautiful women in the world would become moist just being near him, he would drive the fastest cars and wear the coolest leather jackets and become a cabillionaire in the process. In America there is no distinguishing between reality and TV drama. They are one and the same. Eventually his fictional world would morph into reality and he would be reborn: the journey from follower to the followed complete. He is in many ways, Jesus.
Now that his fortune is made and his fantasies played out, he is able to relax and make fun of himself and mock his previous insecurities, and why not? With $10,000,000,000 in that bank, I’d laugh too. He’s a beautiful man, sincere, genuine and hairy. Still a nerd, but instead of being mocked he is revered. We should be so lucky. The Hoff has shown the worlds dorks that you don’t need to be cool to take advantage of all the great things the world has to offer. The Hoff was born a nerd, but he didn’t try to be cool, he just made being a nerd cool and if that’s not genius I don’t know what is. People still say poor Hoff, I say poor us. Who would you rather be, the Hoff or Steven Hawkins?
I rest my case.
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