One or two recent poker successes including the blood thirsty Sunday night sit and go at the Three Pigeons pub has afforded me the opportunity to make a purchase that has been my want since a chance encounter into the bedroom of a fat American kids older sisters when I was about 8 years old.
No, not a selection of brightly coloured leg warmers or hair broadening products promoting hair-spans of up to two metres, although both of those purchases intrigue me. I've gone and bought myself a cool waterbed.
I'd never seen one until I went with "Fat Phil" into his sisters bedroom so we could put her bras on our heads. It was a more innocent time. Anyhoo, I sat down on her bed and was almost consumed by the thing and in a sense have been ever since.
So today I finally got one for myself. You've probably pictured some leather upholstered leopard skin covered monstrosity in our head and you can could be forgiven for doing so. But this thing is actually dead classy and apparently is so comfortable they say it's actually like sleeping in an Angels foo foo.
Here, have a look
I spend roughly half my life in bed. Maybe 10 hours a night, plus snoozes. It would be even more if I hadn't retired from shagging, maybe up to twenty minutes more. So, I figure I should make myself as comfortable as possible.
Why am I documenting such a purchase on my blog? Mostly because I am expending nervous energy through the medium of waffle. Nervous energy cause if Wycombe Wanderers can hold out for just a few minutes longer I'll be able to buy some modal sheets to go with my new bed as I backed them at 25/1 to draw 1-1 after being down at half time.
Aaaaaah success!! There's nothing to this gambling game. I can now afford the softest most comfortable-ist sleeping items available to man. I may even have to reconsider my retirement and make it known to women too. No, let's not spoil it.
0 comments:
Post a Comment