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I haven’t watched any incarnation of Big Brother seriously for years. The original series, I think, was a vaguely intriguing social experiment. Subsequent series’ obviously couldn’t have that quality and so it’s creators have sourced other means of maintaining their ratings and income.

This celebrity version deserves no intelligent discussion. It’s so far beneath contempt that if you stood on top of contempt and looked down on Big Brother it would look like an ant and if you dropped a penny on it from such a height it would crack open it’s head and spill its insides on the street like a water melon, but it has presented to me with a rather juicy betting opportunity.

The accusations of racism have shocked people. People seem genuinely appalled and unable to accept that this sort of thing goes on in the real world. This is laughable for a couple of reasons. First of all, it’s a reality show. It IS, unfortunately, the real world. This is not Eastenders. There’s no script (I don’t think) and Jade Goodie, is famous only for being on Big Brother. She is no more a celebrity than one of David Beckhams shits. She is very typical of the average (and I flatter her by using the word average) chav we all encounter on a day to day basis and of the under classes who insist on watching Big Brother as a whole.

If anyone can seriously find the idea of a chavvy, uneducated, ignorant Essex girl abusing someone from India extraordinary, I’m afraid to say, for want of a better cliché, you need to get out more. Or perhaps you don’t. There’s racism, xenophobia, bigotry and prejudice on every corner in this country and in every office, classroom, work place, football pitch and shock horror, in our Parliament.

My proof of this leads me onto my betting opportunity. Jade Goodie is 1/66 ON to lose her place in the Big Brother House this Friday. Shilpa Shetty is 10/1. What this boils down to in effect, from a betting point of view, is do you think there a less than 10/1 chance that the UKs chav classes are racist? To which my answer is, do fat women own cats? For example, if you can show me two people out ten who haven’t complained about call centres being based in India I’ll readjust my thinking. I don’t think you can do that though.

If I am right about the UK’s under classes (who make up the majority of Big Brothers audience) being racist, then Shilpa Shetty will lose this eviction vote and this will become a layers dream realised. Let’s ignore for a second what this will mean for the future of our nation and what our politicians will make of this clear evidence that racism is alive and well and living everywhere, in fact, let’s ignore it totally, I resigned from the world, I don’t have to despair at this sort of thing anymore, I have the opportunity of accepting a bet of £660 and if I lose will only have to give up £10.

Obviously all this is subject to the condition that the voting is not influenced by the program makers or by channel 4. Doubtful I know, but again, from a betting point of view this offers great value. The only kind of value that could ever be found in a show like this.

Shilpa Shetty, beautiful, intelligent, probably fragrant and a genuine star, no wonder they hate her.
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Update: Jade Goodie was voted out. Britain is NOT racist. Phew! The whole issue can now be swept under the carpet. I mean, put to bed.

Interestingly, the police may now interview her about her comments. Even more interesting is why they didn't go in there and get her if they felt she had broken the law. Is the law subordinate to the Big Brother show? If she had plunged a knife into Shilpa Shettys throat, would the police have waited for her outside the house until she was evicted? It's almost as if our policeforce as an institution, don't take racism seriously or something. She either broke the law or didn't. If she did, arrest that creature! If she didn't, stop wasting everyones time just so you can get on telly Mr Policeman and go and arrest some killer, rapist types.