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I was unfortunate enough to catch part of a teenage girls mobile phone conversation yesterday while in the queue of the Co-op. She was completely indignant that her boyfriend had dumped her by text message. She wasn’t upset that her relationship had ended, just how it had ended. One can only imagine what a beautifully intimate and romantic relationship they must have had if the only thing really bothering her was the manner in which it concluded.

Would an amazing Olympic games, in which all continents competed and many world records were smashed be any less memorable if the closing ceremony had been a stand up comedian and a juggler? I’m not suggesting that pinning a Dear John letter to your six week old infant is no more lacking in respect than a text message, but what is the real concern here? That you will no longer share those intimate moments with the person you love, or that you didn’t get a face-to-face meeting which would have given you the opportunity of kneeing him in the groin?

During the last football season Dennis Bergkamp was denied access to the Arsenal staff car park prior to a match because he had forgotten his I.D. badge. The security guard point blank refused him entry without his card. What was the real concern here? That Arsenal staff parking policy be upheld at all costs, or that Dennis Bergkamp got to play against Liverpool?

Diabetics and many other conditions are exempt from prescription charges on the grounds that those patients cannot survive without their medication. Cystic Fibrosis patients are not exempt despite the fact that they cannot survive without their medication. This has the CF community up in arms. This issue causes more wheezy hysterical complaints than any other issue despite the fact that they are getting many thousands of pounds worth of medication for £100 and despite the fact that their care may actually suffer if they were no longer subject to this charge.

The money that is paid annually by the patients would have to come from another source if they were added to the exemption list. The NHS may then have to cut staffing levels in CF clinics and facilities and treatments may also suffer. Is the priority here the level of care, or a minor financial inconvenience?

These are all examples of how we seem to have draped ourselves in a sort of psychological Burkha, which denies us peripheral vision and the opportunity to the see the bigger picture of any given issue. Instead we seem to see things through a narrow, inch thick slit right in front of our eyes. True to form, I blame the Government.

Tony Bl**r has created one new law for every day he has been in power. Over 3000 new laws including controlling Polish potato imports, nuclear explosions in the home, fox hunting and the sale of grey squirrels. New Labours obsession with the minutiae of everyday life rather than say, serious crime, the NHS, securing our borders, promoting entrepreneurship, educating our children and generally building our great nation some sort of identity in the new world, is quite startling.

Fox Hunting is one of the more vulgar wastes of Parliamentary time and energy. Now, I know that Fox Hunting is not very pleasant, but did the subject really deserve 30 zillion hours of Commons debate to pass legislation that is in effect, unenforceable? How many foxes die at the teeth of a pack of bloodhounds per year than say, are burst at the tyres of the 4x4’s driven by today’s housewife?

Did we ever once consider shutting down our Highways to prevent any more rupturing of the poor ginger beauties or did we not even think of it in those terms as, at the end of the day, they’re just fucking foxes and after all, they slaughter chickens. And I loooooove’s chickens and if anyone is going to murder them it’ll be me, so I can have them for my lunch.

This obsession with petty law enforcement means the Government can be seen to be doing something, even if none of it works, but the consequences mean a ludicrous society with ludicrous priorities. The importance of travelling in order to restore the perspective that would allow us to shed our Burkha’s has never been more apparent, which reminds me, I have to renew my passport. Thank the lord current Government legislation permits me to wear my Burkha for my passport photo.