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Gargh, I have a hospital appointment in an hour. I haven't slept because of the heat, my eyes are milky and watery and my skin is just parched. It's so hard to find a good moisturiser these days don't you think? I don't look my best. Plus the heat has ruined my appetite and I'm now invisible from the side and my trousers keep falling down.

This reminds of a time when I was a nipper and my relationship with my Doctor's was far less concordant. I was scared of them to be fair. But with good reason. Mine had a beard, never a good sign in a Doctor. He had authority to insist on incredibly invasive treatments and I was far too timid and reticent and ignorant to argue with him.

I once resorted to hiding weights in my pockets to disguise the loss of weight and try and avert all talk of awful supplementary feeding; gastric nasal toobs, the dreaded peg and so on. What I didn't think to do was weigh myself before I went out, or look at myself in the mirror. I was fooling no one. I always had a muscular stomach because of all the coughing I've down, but when I lose weight I have a seven pack as you can see my pancreas.

Despite the iron weights I was wheezily lugging about I still came in under the required weight to postpone such discussions, I got away with promising to drink protein drinks and eat more cake though, phew close call. These days I'm not bothered, it makes no difference no mo'. I might go in a bikini today actually.