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I'm seeing that you can now phone an emergency number if you think you've got Swine Flu, explain your symptoms and an 18 year old temp will then be able to prescribe you Tamiflu which is a prescription drug which for many people carries with it side effects far worse than the flu itself.

I'm still counting how many ways this is wrong. Of all this Government's initiatives that have had many levels of wrong, I think this one has been the wrongest. If this condition is as serious as they're making out, then you need a Doctor, not a gap student, and apart from anything else, if you really did have Swine Flu you'd be too fucked to ring anyone anyway.

They say the difference between flu and a cold is that if you had a cold and saw a £50 note outside on the pavement you'd get up and go and get it, where as if you really had flu you'd just lie there and watch it blow away.

You're not going to have the energy to go through a check list with a stroppy teenager who can barely read. Just calling BT's customer services is an exhausting and traumatic experience, there's no way you're putting yourself through something like that if you had Swine Flu, you're off to see your Doctor aren't you..and definitely so if it was your child who was infected.

I think I might phone up and get a dozen free doses and put them on the American Ebay website, Tamiflu probably costs loads over there. Please people, just man up and take your flu old style, with lots of water, some sleep and a bit of patience.

One or two facts:

Deaths from deadly leathal global pandemics which were meant to end the human race - population 6.2 Billion:

SARS = 774

Avian flu = 257

Deaths from Swine Flu so far this year = 700 (29 in UK)

Average deaths from seasonal flu each year = 250-500,000 (3-4,000 in the UK)