Voy Por Ustedes

Happy death of Christ day everyone. I'm celebrating by eating bread and downing half a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon and watching Ben-Hur - Hur being the Hebrew word for "dover" I assume? There's nothing like a thinly veiled gay squabble to kill four hours of a bank holiday, just ask Michael Barrymore.

I'm still not sure about this whole crucifixion business. I don't get the point of it. In real terms it breaks down like this: God had his kid tortured and mutilated to atone for us and out sinful ways right, but it's God's fault in the first place that we're all sinners. Why not just not make us sinners in the first place and therefore foregoing the necessity to nail his lad (who is himself) to some wood?

God made Adam out of some dirt and Adam was the original sinner from where we all get our innate wickedness, so why not just make Adam a nicer dude? And even if Adam somehow was able to do what he wanted, why not just forgive us anyway and not bother with all the sacrificing of the progeny?

What is it with the Bible and all the Dad's sacrificing their sons? Who are they trying to impress? And since Adam never actually existed anyway it's all even more weird. God makes up some bullshit rules, he then makes a dude break the rules and in the process condemns every man there after to an equally sinful standing, then manifests himself as his own son and has himself tortured to atone for the bullshit rules he made up himself which the people he made have now broken too!? Huh? A sphincter says what?

God: WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAT!????

Me: Sorry God just playing, but it is all bullshit isn't it, you must admit it is bullshit. You should just have made Adam a cool bloke even though he didn't exist, or just forgiven everyone without this weird PR stunt. Know what I'm sayin'?

Then I wouldn't have to watch Ben-Dover every Easter and I wouldn't have awful sinful images in my head of Charlton Heston rubbing oils all over Stephen Boyd. Eeek..sorry, couldn't help it..I feel queasy now and that's your fault, but according to your weird logic, it's my fault. Think you better send down another kid God have him toss a Bishop's salad or something.