Voy Por Ustedes

It's been a few weeks since my last McDonalds related anecdote, but if you'll indulge me I have another one for you.

I prefer to use the drive-through and on this occasion I was asked to wait in the car park for my quarter pounder with cheese and side order of potato wedges.

I was happy to do so. It's amazing incidentally, how many people would rather eat their meals in their cars in the car park than actually sit in the restaurant. I myself like to drive home as it's not far.

Anyway, I digress. The person who asked me to wait was one of those funny him-she creatures you read about. It's awkward when you encounter a person whose gender is unclear from their physical features. How do you address such a person? Usually at McDonalds if a male serves me I use "geezer." If it's a female I use "toots" or "doll face." If it's a very ugly woman, I generally don't say anything and try not to look.

So anyway, this him-she approached with my food and it's walking style suggested the absence of the Y chromosome as did the breast size, pear shaped hips, and pony tail, but I also thought I could see a clear Adam's apple! I was very very confused. As it handed me my food I was still in two minds but was ready to gamble on it being a man. I meant to say "thank you buddy," but I sort of panicked and what I actually said was "thank you bitch."

I said it so politely though that it may not have realised how rude I had just been to it. I laughed for most of the way home at my unintentional abuse of a poor creature who to be fair, belonged under a circus tent not in a restaurant handling food. I don't usually verbally abuse the physically deformed and then laugh about it - you'll have to take my word for that - but on this occasion I couldn't help myself.

It's proof though that generally speaking, people rarely listen to the words when they're being spoken to. We've de-evolved. We're like dogs now and it's the tone of voice rather than the words we pay attention to. It's quite possible to call some one a cunt without it registering in their tiny minds.

Try it yourself. It's good fun. Go outside now and ask the first person you come across for the time. Say, "have you got the time please cunt." Say it very quickly and politely with a smile on your face. It won't register. They may ask you to repeat yourself, but then you can just ask for the time again without the cunt part. For an added adrenaline rush why not ask a really big emotionally unstable man. Email in with your results.