On my way home last night I came within feet, feet people, of colliding with a deer. I didn't notice it until it's face was almost touching my number plate. I was singing along to Kajagoogoo on Fox FM and suddenly two sparkly eyes were staring back at me.
Why do they just stand in the middle of the road? Surely the A40 isn't a deer's natural habitat. I assume he lives in the area. Is he so stupid that he hasn't figured out yet that the hard dark grey surface is home to big metal moving things that would fuck his shit up if he got in the way of them?
If I didn't have the reactions of a cat I'd have had a most unfortunate accident. Of course, if another car was coming from the other direction I'd have had no choice but to plough into Bambi and would have then spent hours scraping his guts off my windscreen. Phew!
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My search for a jumper with an R on the front has almost come to an end I hope. I haven't gotten around to learning how to knit so I've been trawling the intrawebs for one. Who knew it would so difficult to find such a garment!
I came upon the awesome idea of purchasing one of those varsity letterman sweaters, but there appears to be a lack of colleges beginning with R. If my name was Bob my search would have been over ages ago.
Anyway, I came across the very definition of awesome in the shape of this wrestling team jumper and I now just have to wait four days for the auction to end. I can barely stand the tension. I plan to wear it when I play poker. I figure it'll make me look dorky and silly and therefore people will target my chips as easy money. I shall then unleash the full force of my pokering whup ass on them. Ah ha ah ha ah hahahahahahahahaha.
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