Voy Por Ustedes

Next to child murderers and cruise ship entertainers, the people I hate most of all on this Earth are people who can't be arsed to park properly. I'm not talking about parallel parking under pressure on a steep gradient, I'm just talking about positioning ones car between two clearly marked lines.

It irritates me because if you have to park next to them you're forced to straddle the lines also and when the original inconsiderate sum'bitch drives off, your car is left isolated and looking like it has been parked by Stevie Wonder and numerous dirty looks are aimed at you when you return to your car.

Now you may think this isn't worth worry about. But it does have wider implications. This lazy lack of consideration for others is what has caused the decades of conflict between the Israeli's and the Palestinians since the state of Israel was founded after the second world war.

The British Empire parks itself in the middle east, not paying an awful lot of attention to borders and territories because it's basically only staying for five minutes and who cares. Consequently the Israeli's turn up just after the British pull away and they're left fighting with the Palestinians over the same piece of land.

Consequently, Israel starts arguing with Egypt in the space to the left and Jordan and Syria in the spaces to the right and while they're tearing each other to pieces, the British are back home with their shopping having tea and don't give a hoot about the mess they've left behind and the inevitable generations of blood shed.

So, next time you park you car vaguely in a parking space and decide it doesn't matter cause you're only staying for five minutes, just remember that's exactly the what the British Empire said in Palestine.

Message received and understood? Good. Now go and wash your hands, tea's nearly ready.