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I'm seeing a pattern in some of the criticisms leveled at Boris Johnson and Barack Obama during their respective election campaigns. Generally by dirty thick people who don't know which fork to eat their starter with when they eat out - mainly because they don't give you cutlery at Denny's. You know what I'm talking about.. accusations of elitism and over privilege.

I think really this is the proles being skeered of clever, educated and articulate people who use long words all the time. The concerns are disproportionate and unwarranted. First of all proles, if being Mayor of London or Prez of Merca isn't elitist then I don't like strawberry cornetto's. Ken Livinsgtone and George Bush are two of the most elitist dudes in the western world.

Bush in particular comes from a family of oil baron cabillionaires, former Presidents, CEO's and various other gits. He's the very definition of over privileged elitism. It's only because he looks and sounds like the village idiot with his aw-shucks twang and blissful perpetually unaware yokel grin, that he's not considered elitist.

Don't you want someone in office with a better education than you and some one who is over-privileged? It's a good thing if you can't understand what they're talking about. Surely you need someone who will be capable of forming concordant relationships with all the other perceived elitist toffee-nosed world leader dudes?

You can't invite the various Arabic leaders to dinner for example and be spilling your peas all over the table cloth and disgusting them with talk of Pop Idol and the convenience of microwaved sausages. Dear lord, oil would be $200 a barrel before the after eights were served.

I'm very worried about the current trend amongst certain grubby and uneducated sections of society who look upon the educated and wealthy with suspicion. I must be public enemy number one two and three.

How can it be? Those who do get out of the bath when they need a piss are considered untrustworthy, yet those who don't even get of the bath when they need a shit are considered custodians of all that is good and decent?

I exclude the Mensa people from the trustworthy educated types of course. They're trying to con me you see. Con me with flattery. I took their home test and low and behold, they're telling me that my score was indeed in the top 2% of the country which if confirmed in a supervised test costing just £15, would warrant an invite into their wee society.

Call me cynical, but I'm wondering if either they're lying and didn't even look at my test, or the questions were just a smidgen easier than the pwoper test and they just want my £15. Not that I'm doubting my intellect of course, but I didn't find question 2 for example all that challenging:

If Jill has two sweets and James has four sweets how many sweets does Wazim have if he has four sweets?

Hmmmm, perhaps I'm under estimating myself, but as Elvis Presley once said, I'm a bit suspicious.

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