I was attempting a three in a row at the Pigeons this evening. I failed. That is all.
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February at last people, at last!!
2/03/2008 05:22:00 pm
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The truth was spoken by
Rich
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comments (0)
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I just noticed it's February now. Thank crunchy for that. January always passes with the ease of a kidney stone. Thank de lard it's only a few short months now until it starts to become warmer - still pissy, wet and depressing, just not cold pissy, wet and depressing.
February is quick though, and in the first week of March I'm generally so pre-occupied with betting on the Cheltenham festival I don't notice the time and of course the final weeks of March I spend ruing the money I wasted on betting on the Cheltenham festival, which brings us easing into April (not sexually though unfortunately).
April obviously being the month before May which is when I'm off to Vegas. Did I mention I'm off to Vegas? It's no time at all really. If I were a quantum physicist I could knock up a few equations that would see me off to Vegas, in relative terms, tomorrow...further equations could bring me right back to here though. What was the point of this post? I feel bad now.
I just noticed it's February now. Thank crunchy for that. January always passes with the ease of a kidney stone. Thank de lard it's only a few short months now until it starts to become warmer - still pissy, wet and depressing, just not cold pissy, wet and depressing.
February is quick though, and in the first week of March I'm generally so pre-occupied with betting on the Cheltenham festival I don't notice the time and of course the final weeks of March I spend ruing the money I wasted on betting on the Cheltenham festival, which brings us easing into April (not sexually though unfortunately).
April obviously being the month before May which is when I'm off to Vegas. Did I mention I'm off to Vegas? It's no time at all really. If I were a quantum physicist I could knock up a few equations that would see me off to Vegas, in relative terms, tomorrow...further equations could bring me right back to here though. What was the point of this post? I feel bad now.
I don't usually go in for charity work as I find the idea of emotionally blackmailing people out of their surplus income rather vulgar, but I will on this occasion cause it benefits me. This is about my CF clinic. Yes MINE. These are good people who work tirelessly to keep me alive. Can you imagine this godforsaken planet without me in it?? No, doesn't bear thinking about does it people.
So anyway, it looks like some of the staff are running some race or something and need sponsoring cause elsewise I could be dead within days. Seriously man, come on, you should see the facilities in this place. Fucking Alan Johnson. They're still using leeches for infections in the CF wards and we're lucky if we get a TV between us all...I had a wireless last time, but someone had it away when I was asleep. It's not fair man, all the cancer patients and heart disease dudes get DVD players and fridges and table dances. Lucky bastards.
Anyway, it looks like they want to raise £3,000, so if you were just about to give all your charity cash to the cancer people, send it here instead, the cancer dudes are doing fine,
On a slightly more serious note if you happen to want to know more about Cystic Fibrosis, then you're weird cause it's horrible - but the CF Trust Website has all the gory information you'll ever need - www.cftrust.org.uk
Incidentally, My approach to charity work has in no way been encouraged or influenced by Oxford Radcliffe Hospitals Charitable Funds ..these were all my own words.
Now then, it is entirely possible I have given this more thought than was actually necessary, but that's the kinda guy I am and I make no apologies for it. Mob member theGame has put together a variation of the 'ideal dinner guests' conundrum, the idea is put together THE home poker game; a fantasy poker game if you will, so this afternoon I have put together what I feel is the superlative home game.
Now then, as with dinner parties I've chosen a wide spectrum of personalities and seated them appropriately. I think it's important when entertaining, to seat people with mutual interests together, but as we're putting together a poker game and I am the host, it adds an extra element of intrigue as we also have to seat people strategically in order to give ones self the best chance of winning which, let's be honest, is the priority in any poker game.
As this is the ultimate home game I've gone a step further an appointed a dealer, tournament director, waitress and also, since such a field would surely arouse media interest, I've chosen a brace of commentators too. So with this in mind, I've chosen the following guests:
Seat 1: Osama Bin Laden,
Seat2: Larry David,
Seat 3: George W. Bush
Seat4: Roger Moore
Seat5: Me
Seat6: Jen Mason
Seat7: Basil Brush
Seat8: Doyle Brunson
Seat9: Chris Rock
seat10: Stephen Fry
Dealer: Muhammad Ali
Tournament Director: Arsene Wenger
Waitress: Scarlett Johansson
Commentators: Jesse May and Victoria Coren
It's a supreme line-up I think you'll agree. They often say that one should never discuss religion or politics at dinner parties, but fuck all that, we want to spice things up a little here and get as many people on tilt as possible, so of course Islamic fruit cake Osama Bin Laden will have the button on Christian fruit cake George W. Bush's big-blind with Jewish comedian Larry David on the small-blind.
I've seated myself two to the left of George W. Bush as I don't someone who can actually play poker on the button when I'm posting the big blind (I told you I'd given this more thought than was necessary). Roger Moore is to my right to cope with any diplomatic issues should they develop between George and Osama and also to teach me how to make a waitress moist just by ordering a Vodka Martini.
Continuing with the weaselly strategic seat placings, I've put the two professional poker players: Jen Mason and Doyle Brunson in the most vulnerable positions (oo-er) when I'm on the button; small-blind and Under-the-gun respectively, with Basil Brush on the steal-tastic big-blind.
The final two places are occupied by the remaining two of my favourite three comedians, (Larry David being the third) Chris Rock and Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry provides insurance against any conversational hiatus as he knows everything and Chris Rock completes the mix with some more controversial offerings.
Obviously you want a night like this to last so I've chosen Muhammad Ali to deal as his Parkinson's Disease ought to guarantee many mis-deals with the cards in those shaky hands of his flying all over the place.
But we also want the game to run smoothly and with such a diverse selection of players we need a tournament director with an air of authority who can cope with strong personalities diplomatically and tactfully but with a sense of humour and for my money only Arsene Wenger satisfies these criteria.
Our waitress for the evening will be Scarlett Johansson and our commentators will be the voice of poker Jesse May and the voice of many a mans filthiest wet dreams Victoria Coren.
I think you'll agree we have a mix of not too subtle but beautifully blended personalities here and some intriguing options should we have too much to drink and fancy trapping off with someone.
As with all home games the potential for chaos should simmer below the surface, before boiling over..however, as the object of the exercise here is to put together the game to end all games, our player dynamic has been blended, deliberately and fittingly, to offer the literal potential for Apocalypse.
boomp3.com
Now then, as with dinner parties I've chosen a wide spectrum of personalities and seated them appropriately. I think it's important when entertaining, to seat people with mutual interests together, but as we're putting together a poker game and I am the host, it adds an extra element of intrigue as we also have to seat people strategically in order to give ones self the best chance of winning which, let's be honest, is the priority in any poker game.
As this is the ultimate home game I've gone a step further an appointed a dealer, tournament director, waitress and also, since such a field would surely arouse media interest, I've chosen a brace of commentators too. So with this in mind, I've chosen the following guests:
Seat 1: Osama Bin Laden,
Seat2: Larry David,
Seat 3: George W. Bush
Seat4: Roger Moore
Seat5: Me
Seat6: Jen Mason
Seat7: Basil Brush
Seat8: Doyle Brunson
Seat9: Chris Rock
seat10: Stephen Fry
Dealer: Muhammad Ali
Tournament Director: Arsene Wenger
Waitress: Scarlett Johansson
Commentators: Jesse May and Victoria Coren
It's a supreme line-up I think you'll agree. They often say that one should never discuss religion or politics at dinner parties, but fuck all that, we want to spice things up a little here and get as many people on tilt as possible, so of course Islamic fruit cake Osama Bin Laden will have the button on Christian fruit cake George W. Bush's big-blind with Jewish comedian Larry David on the small-blind.
I've seated myself two to the left of George W. Bush as I don't someone who can actually play poker on the button when I'm posting the big blind (I told you I'd given this more thought than was necessary). Roger Moore is to my right to cope with any diplomatic issues should they develop between George and Osama and also to teach me how to make a waitress moist just by ordering a Vodka Martini.
Continuing with the weaselly strategic seat placings, I've put the two professional poker players: Jen Mason and Doyle Brunson in the most vulnerable positions (oo-er) when I'm on the button; small-blind and Under-the-gun respectively, with Basil Brush on the steal-tastic big-blind.
The final two places are occupied by the remaining two of my favourite three comedians, (Larry David being the third) Chris Rock and Stephen Fry. Stephen Fry provides insurance against any conversational hiatus as he knows everything and Chris Rock completes the mix with some more controversial offerings.
Obviously you want a night like this to last so I've chosen Muhammad Ali to deal as his Parkinson's Disease ought to guarantee many mis-deals with the cards in those shaky hands of his flying all over the place.
But we also want the game to run smoothly and with such a diverse selection of players we need a tournament director with an air of authority who can cope with strong personalities diplomatically and tactfully but with a sense of humour and for my money only Arsene Wenger satisfies these criteria.
Our waitress for the evening will be Scarlett Johansson and our commentators will be the voice of poker Jesse May and the voice of many a mans filthiest wet dreams Victoria Coren.
I think you'll agree we have a mix of not too subtle but beautifully blended personalities here and some intriguing options should we have too much to drink and fancy trapping off with someone.
As with all home games the potential for chaos should simmer below the surface, before boiling over..however, as the object of the exercise here is to put together the game to end all games, our player dynamic has been blended, deliberately and fittingly, to offer the literal potential for Apocalypse.
boomp3.com
I'd like you to join me in finding this amusing and kinda sweet. I happened to be watching MTV at 5 O'clock this morning; what I was doing up at that time is my business, but I happened upon something odd.
They had some one signing along to one of the songs; Happy Ending by Mika. I found this odd because although a deaf person can understand what's being sung, there's surely no way they can hear the music or gain any kind of awareness of the rhythm of the music..UNLESS!
Unless you get a nice signing lady to dance along to the music, thus giving the deaf person at least some kind of appreciation of the mood of the music. I wish I had a deaf person with me at the time to sing along to it so I could compare their version to the original.
For a laugh I'd have had her head banging just to confuse all the deaf viewers.
They had some one signing along to one of the songs; Happy Ending by Mika. I found this odd because although a deaf person can understand what's being sung, there's surely no way they can hear the music or gain any kind of awareness of the rhythm of the music..UNLESS!
Unless you get a nice signing lady to dance along to the music, thus giving the deaf person at least some kind of appreciation of the mood of the music. I wish I had a deaf person with me at the time to sing along to it so I could compare their version to the original.
For a laugh I'd have had her head banging just to confuse all the deaf viewers.
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