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Just while I'm waiting for the Champions League games to kick-off I thought I'd bring you up to date on my current Ebay auctions in progress. As we speak I'm bidding on an awesome yellow and Red letterman sweater sporting a cool W on the front. I believe it's from somewhere in Ohio, which isn't ideal as I still blame Ohio for George Bush's second term as President, but I'm willing to overlook this in the name of audacious fashion statement making.

Sweater: awesome

Shirt: awesome

Interestingly most of the teams I've chosen throughout Europe have become shit as a consequence of my support. Atletico Madrid for example are my Spanish team. Borrusia Dortmund my German team. Ajax my Dutch team. Arsenal on the other hand have gone the other way and were shit and have become the best ever team ever to play the game ever.

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In other news, it's about that time in the month when I consider anteing up for the £300 game at DTD. I have funds available, but I still consider £300 to be a significant sum of monies and given the expense of a two day event (hopefully a two day event) it's essentially a £500 weekend and juxtaposed with the number of letterman sweaters and retro-football kits I could buy for this amount, it's a considerable dilemma - made all the more difficult as I am running so well at the moment.

One feels one should take advantage of the favourable light in which the poker Gods are seeing me at present. Actually to be fair it's really that I'm not sure I can get up in time to get up there before the 2pm kick-off.

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I've done some further research on this bizarre fight on Saturday and I've come to the conclusion that David Haye really has no chance. Haye is the younger man yes, at 29, Valuev is closing in on his 650,000th birthday; Haye is the better boxer, yes, Valuev can't box; but the fight being in Germany means any advantages Haye might think he has is immediately declared null and void.

It appears that Jerry has already decided the outcome of this fight should it go to points. So unless Haye somehow knocks Valuev out, which I'm quite sure is impossible, the 11/8 on Valuev is value. I have spoken.

You want to listen to me, I'm on a hot streak at the moment. Apparently my natal grand trine has been set off between the planets of Mercury (the mind) Neptune (the imagination) and the Moon (the instincts). Naturally ones mind, imagination, and instincts work together well, and now that mars is touching my mercury in a naughty way, it's energised it. So erm..yes..shit hot, I could probably knock Kevin out of Eggheads....or at least have a better chance than Haye has of knocking out Valuev.

Come on then

In other news, the second selection of my £10,000 Yankee is looking promising. The New York Yankees are now just one win away from securing their 27th title and more importantly guaranteeing me at least a £5 profit on my £11 wager.

The final two selections are a little less certain; I will need Kevin Schaffel to win the WSOP main event - the November nine I think conclude the event this weekend. Could happen, but I very much doubt the final selection - the Baltimore Ravens - can win the Superbowl. Stranger things have happened of course, but I doubt Mercury will still be tickling my naughty bits in January.

Yankees almost home

Why have they used the beautiful Andrey Arshavin as the player in question here? He wears 23 not 8 and since when do Arsenal play in white shirts, black shorts and blue socks? And also since when do games at the Emirates end 0-0?

The only goalkeeper incompetent enough to let a goal in in this situation who plays for a team with red home shirts is Edwin Van der Sar but he's blonde. Come on now Guardian, I know the details are irrelevant, but they should still bare some resemblance to reality.

My answer incidentally is tough titty. Goal stands, we're best.